Captive Princess: A Dark Paranormal Romance (Feline Royals Book 2) Read online

  Focus, Princess.

  I took a deep breath and considered what I was about to do. Gabor could kill me if he wanted. I was alone in here with him. Then again, he could kill us all. He was flying the fucking plane.

  “How’s your hand?” I asked, remembering Camila’s teeth clamping down and how patient he’d been.

  “Fine,” he said, flexing his hand. “My ocelot healed it quickly.” His fingers were long and strong, a golden tan like the rest of him. God, how could even his hands be sexy? What was wrong with me?

  “Must be nice,” I said. “To have self-healing properties like that.”

  “How’s your shoulder?”

  “It hurts like hell,” I admitted.

  The muscle in his jaw jumped as he clenched it. “If you’d like… I could clean it for you and put in a few stitches.”

  The thought made me squeamish with pain, and I remembered why I was there. Not so a guard could put prison stitches in me. Especially a guard with questionable motives.

  “Care to explain this?” I asked, shaking out the contents of Camila’s bag onto my lap. Lipstick, prescription bottles, and the tiny ultraviolet yellow glass capsules tumbled into my lap.

  “No, Your Grace.”

  My mouth dropped open and a huff escaped me. “Well, too bad,” I said, tossing my hair back. “I think I deserve an explanation.”

  “Yes, Your Grace.”

  “Would you please stop calling me that?”

  “No, Your Grace.”

  “Are you trying to irritate the fuck out of me right now, or does it just come naturally?”

  “No, Your Grace.”

  I sighed. “No, you’re not trying to be annoying? Or no, it doesn’t come naturally? You know what, don’t answer that.”

  Gabor swallowed, studying the control panel in front of him as if it held the meaning of life. “I apologize.”

  “Look, you do know other words besides yes and no.”

  “I do.”

  “Great,” I said, holding up one of the little capsules. “Then maybe you could answer my original question because I don’t think it’s too much to ask for you to tell me why you have a syringe full of whatever the fuck this is.”

  He finally turned to me, then averted his eyes and swallowed. “I—don’t, Your Grace.”

  “You took it out of Camila’s bag, and you certainly seemed to know what to do with it.”

  “I do,” he said quietly. “But it’s not mine. It belongs to Her Grace, the heir.”

  “I could have figured that out. What I still don’t understand is why you shot my sister with something toxic.”

  Finally, he could meet my gaze directly. “It’s a tranquillizer.”

  “Then why does it have this little symbol on it?” I asked, dangling it in front of my face. “I’m not stupid, Gabor.”

  “It is toxic,” he said, his eyes softening for just a moment. “It can be fatal in large doses.”

  I swallowed, my heart thudding at the thought of Camilla lying out there, so still.

  “You didn’t—” I choked the words off, taking a slow breath. “She’ll wake up?”

  Gabor turned to face forward again, the muscle in his jaw the only movement of his stony face. “Yes, Your Grace.”

  I closed my eyes and let myself exhale. “Right. Sorry. Of course you wouldn’t kill the queen.” A bubble of nervous laughter escaped me. “What would we do then?”

  I knew exactly what we would do then. We’d keep on living under Father’s rule. I just didn’t know if that’s what Gabor wanted. I had thought that maybe he loved her, but I could have read it all wrong. After all, Father had employed him. He’d given Gabor a prestigious position at court, the closest thing to his inner circle without being a politician. He’d taught him to fight, to kill, to fly planes and inject people with tranquilizers, stitch them up, and who-knew-what else.

  Camila had given him a pile of laundry.

  There was only one way to find out. He was the last guard from the Ocelot Court, the last person left besides me and Camila. I needed to know if I could trust him, and where he really stood. I’d urged her to consider him, and yet, I found my throat tightening as I forced the question out.

  “Do you love her?”

  Gabor’s eyes flicked to me and then back to the control panel. For a second, I thought he wouldn’t answer. I didn’t want him to answer.

  “I love the Ocelot Nation, Your Grace,” he said, his voice quiet and steady. “I regret that I have not sufficiently shown my loyalty to the crown.”

  “You have.”

  “If I had, you wouldn’t have to ask if our queen would wake up after I subdued her.”

  I studied him, wondering what was going on in that impossible head of his. Was he hurt, or just offended? Either way, I didn’t like it. Even if he was incapable of feeling hurt, if he was incapable of letting himself feel anything, I didn’t want to offend him. As a hitman for my father, he wasn’t allowed to feel anything. He had told me as much when he’d told me he couldn’t love me. I respected that, and I wouldn’t put his job in jeopardy.

  “I’m sorry,” I said.

  “Don’t be,” he said, running a hand over the bottom half of his face, seeming to relax a little. “I haven’t done a very good job of showing my loyalty on this trip.”

  “I don’t know how you can say that,” I said. “You’ve done everything right, Gabor.”

  He tugged at the sleeve of the pilot uniform, which was a little short on his long arms, straightening the white stripes on the wrist. “I’ve been sloppy.”

  “Want to tell me why Camila has tranquilizers?” I asked, deciding it was pointless to argue about his performance.

  “For protection,” Gabor said. “For her own safety, as well. I assure you, she gave her permission ahead of time for me to do that, if it came down to it.”

  She’d told me she’d take sleeping pills on the flight, not be knocked out cold. Did she think I couldn’t be trusted with the truth? With her safety?

  “So, she told you that she might freak out, and that you could inject her,” I said slowly. I thought of her maidservant, who would have helped to dress her and prepare her bath. She would have taken care of the contents of that bag, but when she died, Camila should have given me the task. She’d asked me to help dress her, and yet, she’d kept this from me.

  Was she embarrassed by it? Or was it a shifter thing? She’d let Gabor in on it but not her own sister. The sting of it went deeper than I wanted to admit. Did she trust me less than a palace guard? Had it always been that way, or was it only happening now that I’d found Lord Balam and had something of my own? Was he coming between us?

  For a long while, we sat in silence, Gabor monitoring the screens in front of him. An awkward charge began to build in the air as I watched him avoiding even a glance to my side of the cockpit. Maybe he’d heard what had happened in the main cabin. Maybe he thought I was disgusting.

  At last, I couldn’t bear the thought of that any longer.

  “About…what happened back there just now…”

  “You don’t have to explain yourself to me, Princess Itzel.”

  “It’s just… I’ve never done anything like that. I don’t know what you do at your ocelot parties, but humans don’t really do that kind of thing. Or at least, I don’t. I mean, I haven’t. Before.”

  Gabor didn’t say anything, which made me feel even more nervous. I squirmed in my seat, crossing my legs toward him. “I guess you know that. You know my father was saving me for the right man. But maybe I want to decide that for myself. I’m just not sure who the right man is. I don’t know if I’m ready to decide that.”

  I waited for him to speak, staring at him, willing him to say something, anything. If he called me a whore, at least I’d know what he thought of me. I shouldn’t care, but I did. A lot.

  He remained silent as a stone statue.

  I squeezed my eyes shut in frustration. “Want to tell me what you’re thinking?”


  “I thought Lord Balam was your mate.”

  “What?” My eyes snapped open.

  “You asked what I was thinking. I was thinking that Lord Balam was your mate. Or I had thought that until tonight.”

  So, he had heard us. At least he’d said it in a somewhat delicate way. Not that it was any of his business. I had offered him more, and he hadn’t wanted it.

  I sighed, dropping my head back against the headrest. “Human here. We don’t have mates.”

  He nodded, the muscle in his jaw twitching. “Right. I apologize, Your Grace.”

  “Stop apologizing,” I said. “You have nothing to be sorry for. You’ve served the throne loyally, protected the queen, and you’ve put up with me. That can’t be easy.” I gave his shoulder a playful squeeze to show I was joking with him, but he grimaced.

  “Not as easy as it should be.”

  I didn’t even want to think about what that meant. “Seriously, Gabor. If you’re worried about what Father will think, you shouldn’t. I’ll put in a glowing report for you for every single day of our tour. You’ve been the best guard a princess could ask for, not to mention you’re probably the best man I know.”

  “I assure you I’m not.”

  “Okay,” I said. “Only you can really know what kind of man you are, I guess. You know yourself and what you’ve done, and I don’t. But I’m not talking about your past. I’m talking about what you’ve done on this trip. As far as being a good man by action alone, there are two men back there who couldn’t hold a candle to you.”

  “They don’t seem to be hurting because of it.”

  Before I could second guess myself, I leaned across the space between us, sliding a hand along his jaw and pulling his face closer. As my lips brushed his cheek, his eyes closed, and he drew a slow breath. The muscle in his jaw jumped as my lips touched it, but when I moved toward his mouth, he turned his face away, catching my hand.

  “Itzel,” he said, still facing the window. “Don’t.”

  I slumped back in my seat, my gaze landing on the dead man between the seats. What was wrong with me?

  “I’m sorry,” I said, jumping up and ducking out of the cockpit. I pulled the door closed behind me, cutting off any more words he might say. I didn’t know why I kept pushing. He had told me he couldn’t love me, he couldn’t be with me, even if he wanted. I had Lord Balam, anyway. Now I might have Shadow, too, in some way. What could I offer Gabor?

  Still, my throat felt tight as I crawled onto the couch with Camila and pulled the throw blanket over me. I wished she was awake so I could talk to her. I’d tried to talk to Gabor, but there was too much feeling involved there. I needed a woman’s advice. Not that Camila had any experience in this area. What I really needed was my mother, the woman who could have given me wise council about men. But I didn’t have a mother. I would have to figure these men out on my own.

  Eight

  I woke with a start, the bed bucking under me. No, not bed. My hands landed on leather. Fire raged in my shoulder, and my stomach churned from the motion of the plane. Yes. That’s where I was. My mind was foggy, my head pounding.

  “Balam?” I whispered.

  “No, it’s me.”

  I nearly cried out in surprise. I hadn’t seen anyone beside me, and yet, there in the darkness not two feet away, was a voice. A voice, and the faint glow of green eyes.

  “What are you doing?” I asked, drawing back, my hand going protectively to Camila’s sleeping form. Her breath was deep and steady under her spotted coat.

  “Watching over you.”

  “Um, okay,” I said. “Thanks, but that’s a little creepy.”

  Shadow stared at me, his green eyes so intense I had to look away. “Why are you getting the amulets if your sister is to be queen?”

  “She doesn’t have to get them herself,” I said, a defensive edge creeping into my voice.

  “How will she know she is suited to be queen if she doesn’t take the challenges presented on her own amulet tour?”

  “She’s suited to be queen because she’s the first daughter of the Ocelot King,” I said, raising my chin. God, my shoulder hurt. A lick of fire seemed to pulse from it with every heartbeat.

  “You’re the daughter of the Ocelot King,” Shadow rasped.

  “I’m not an ocelot,” I said. “I can’t be the queen. So, it’s a choice between getting her on the throne, or leaving my father on it. Which would you do?”

  “I’d put you on it,” he said.

  “Not an option,” I reminded him with a sigh.

  “You do too much for her,” he said. “She doesn’t own you, Itzel.”

  “Yeah, she kinda does,” I said. “That’s how royalty works. And isn’t it better to do it by choice than to be forced into it? I’d have to serve my sister whether I wanted to or not.”

  “Do you?” Shadow asked.

  “I do,” I said, gritting my teeth. “I’m a subject. I have to obey the laws of my nation just like everyone else. Isn’t it better that I take it into my own hands, take back the power of it, by serving her the way I want to?”

  “If that’s really what you’re doing.”

  “It is,” I said, annoyed at his presumptuousness. “Just because I let you fuck me doesn’t mean you know what’s best for me, or what my life has been like.”

  “So, tell me,” he said, his voice that hoarse rasp that made me shiver.

  I pulled the blanket around my shoulders, wincing at the pain in my injury. How could I feel cold when my shoulder felt like a volcano about to erupt with scalding lava?

  “It doesn’t matter,” I said, leaning my head back on the couch. The flight had smoothed out a bit, with only occasional lurches. I wondered how Gabor was doing up there.

  “You’re the one who doesn’t want this to be anything but fucking,” Shadow said quietly. “If I don’t know what your life has been like, it’s because you don’t want to tell me.”

  “You’re right,” I said, closing my eyes. I’d kept Balam from my heart, too, giving him one purpose in my life—to fuck me. To make me forget Tadeu. I had automatically put Shadow in the same box. These were men who could make me feel things I’d never felt, both unbearable pleasure and humiliation, the thrum of fear and the helplessness of orgasm. But they couldn’t make me fall in love. Falling in love was dangerous. I’d let myself do that once, and it had hurt too much. I couldn’t afford to be that vulnerable again.

  Maybe that was why I felt a connection with Gabor. We might have had different reasons, different ways of going about it, but we were both doing the same thing. We were both keeping our hearts for ourselves.

  Shadow leaned down out of the darkness, his nose skimming my neck as he inhaled. A shiver rocked through me, and I clutched the blanket tighter. Half of me hoped he would rip it off and fuck me again, and half of me wanted to crawl away where he couldn’t look at me with those piercing green eyes that saw too deeply into me no matter how hard I tried to shut him out.

  “Your wound doesn’t smell right,” he growled.

  I leaned away from him. “Thanks.”

  The plane bucked under us, and I was nearly thrown from the couch. Gabor might have had a pilot’s license, but I doubted he’d flown much. He was probably freaking out right now. My sister was still knocked out, and I had no idea where Lord Balam was. I couldn’t make him out in any of the chairs in the cabin, and it wasn’t big enough to hide in. A dart of fear went through me. Had Shadow gone feral on him in a jealous rage?

  Through all this, Lord Balam had become my anchor. He had his faults, and he could be infuriating, but without him I didn’t think I could get through it. I wanted to go to the cockpit and check, but I didn’t want to leave Shadow alone with my sister, either.

  I let myself have one minute of weakness, one minute of self-pity, and then I forced those thoughts away. I needed to be ready for tomorrow. I needed to be strong for Camila. I might need Lord Balam, but Camila needed me.

  “Look, Sh
adow,” I said. “I know you haven’t had a lot of time to think about this. Your life just changed in ways you didn’t ask for. But we’re about to be in Africa, so I kinda need you to make a decision.”

  “What decision?”

  “Whether you’re going to stay with us,” I said. “All Camilla’s guards are gone except Gabor. I know you’re used to a less structured existence, but we could use your help, if you want to come with us on her amulet tour.”

  “I will protect you.”

  “Well, thanks,” I said. “But she’s the one who needs protecting. She’ll be queen. I don’t know how she feels about adding you to our party—probably not good. I’ll stand up for you and put my foot down with her, Shadow. But I need to know that’s what you want.”

  “I want you.”

  “Why?” I asked, pulling back a little. “Because I fucked you?”

  “You saved me.” His hand closed around mine, his fingers rough and calloused.

  I found my heart hammering in my chest. He could have meant several things by that, but I didn’t want to know. He’d been right when he said I didn’t want to know him. In time, if he proved that he would be here, I would. But right now, I couldn’t handle more than my own brokenness.

  “Okay,” I said, trying to pull away. Shadow’s grip tightened, refusing to let me.

  “I’ll come with you,” he said. “But make no mistake. I’m there for you, not her.”

  “If you really want to be there for me, then you’ll protect her.”

  He was quiet for a long minute before nodding. “Okay,” he said at last. “I will.”

  “Thank you,” I said, an unexpectedly powerful swell of relief filling me. I squeezed Shadow’s hand, lying down and pulling him closer. Without a word, he slid onto the couch with me, throwing the blanket over us and fitting his body to mine. I was used to sleeping beside Lord Balam’s thick, sturdy body. Shadow felt skinny in comparison, almost fragile as I wrapped my arms around him and closed my eyes. His fingers found my cheek, brushing my hair back before his lips pressed down on my forehead.